Millennial parents say well-meaning boomers are gifting junk to their grandkids — and it's time to stop (2024)

• Toys are cheaper than ever, but some millennials dread the amount of gifts their kids receive.
• They say they're overwhelmed by the clutter and don't want more.
• These millennials told Business Insider their boomer parents were ignoring pleas to cut the presents.

When Irina Gonzalez was mailed a variety of packages from her parents, she unwrapped them in advance of the holidays.

They were addressed to her 3-year-old son, Rio. She wanted to check whether the contents were right for the toddler.

She told Business Insider that, from past experience, she suspected that her mom and dad — baby boomers in their early 60s — had bought him toys that he neither wanted nor needed.

"There was a tiny digital camera and a printer," Gonzalez said, noting that they were labeled as suitable for kids aged 6 and above.

"My son is not even 4 and, though it was well-meaning, it felt so silly," she added. "He won't be able to do anything with a camera or a printer for years."

She added that she was debating whether to let it go and donate the presents or make "a bigger statement and send them back."

Gonzalez, 37, is among many millennials who wish their parents would hold back on the gifts they send to their kids. They're finding that their homes are overflowing with clutter — mostly consisting of cheap plastic toys.

BI's Katie Notopoulos recently wrote about how toys were defying inflation. Based on the consumer price index, which tracks inflation rates for different categories of goods, a toy that cost $20 in 1993 would be priced at just $4.68 today, she reported.

This is due, in part, to toymakers' increased reliance on cheap overseas production in countries such as China and Vietnam.

Grandparents don't respect boundaries in terms of gifts

Meanwhile, boomers have plenty of money to fund plastic items such as Monster Jam cars and Barbie play sets. The Federal Reserve recently found that the generation born between 1946 and 1964 owned about half of the wealth in the US.

"My mom is a big T.J. Maxx shopper," said Gonzalez, who pointed out that Rio is her parents' first grandchild. "A lot of gifts, especially when Rio was a baby, tended to be overstock things on sale."

She said the house was "essentially taken over" by her son's belongings. Another issue — besides the toys often being inappropriate for his age — was her parents' tendency to ignore her request not to buy gendered toys.

"It just goes in one ear and out the other," Gonzalez went on. "Their attitude was very much, 'It's our money, we're going to buy what we want.'"

The journalist said that while she "understood the sentiment," she felt that it crossed boundaries. "We have certain rules and guidelines that they don't respect," she said.

Meanwhile, Jessica Flinn-Allen told BI that her mother-in-law, Maeve Allen, "gives her love with presents." Still, she said she wished her mother-in-law would hold back on the number of gifts she buys for her grandchildren, Carmen, 8, and 5-year-old Robin.

"When you go into their rooms, there's stuff everywhere," Flinn-Allen said. "They've got all the toys and clothes they need. They know they're very privileged."

She said she and her husband, Ollie, 34, had almost stopped purchasing gifts for their kids to balance things out. "Maeve buys so much, they don't really know what came from who."

Instead, the 34-year-old jewelry specialist said, they were trying to gift their children experiences. She said family outings to see theater productions and vacations gave more bang for their buck.

"Are you really going to care about that LOL doll you got when you were 5?" she said. "You're going to remember the ski trip and the smile on your dad's face when you were on the ski lift."

The family is spending Christmas in the French Alps this year. "We want to spend quality time together and create memories," Flinn-Allen said.

She feared it would "hurt" her mother-in-law's feelings if she voiced her opinions about material goods. "No good would come from lecturing her about it."

"I like to indulge them during the festive season," Maeve Allen wrote in an email to BI, referring to her grandchildren. "It's a time for spoiling them and seeing their excitement in opening presents."

Some grandparents want to give the best they can afford

She suggested that many people of her generation grew up in less affluent times. "In the past, financial restraints often limited our ability to give generously," she said. "Now we focus on giving meaningful and worthwhile presents that reflect our desire to give our loved ones the best we can afford."

The 70-year-old noted that she supported the idea of "gifting experiences like show tickets or a day at Legoland."

Still, she is a creature of habit. "Perhaps I'd still sneak in a small physical token alongside experiences or money," she said. "A little part of me cherishes the tradition of gift-giving."

Karissa Whitman has also tried to strike a compromise with her boomer parents when it comes to gift-giving.

"There's never any moments where I feel like it's ill-intended by any means," she told BI, referring to her parents' propensity to buy her two sons a surfeit of gifts.

"They belong to the generation that shows its love by spoiling their grandkids through gift-giving," she said.

But she said her biggest bugbear was the way they bought products that weren't in keeping with the parenting philosophy she shared with her husband, Brad, 34.

One example, she said, was the time they gave the couple's older boy, Jax, a digital watch for his fifth birthday this year.

"He is autistic and, when he gets his hands on screen time, it can be mesmerizing," Whitman, a mom blogger, said. "It caused a bit of a disruption in the household for days."

The 32-year-old said she told her parents that, while she was touched by the gesture, Jaz loved the product "so much, he never wanted to put it down and it was overload."

Whitman's parents came around to her way of thinking

"It didn't go as well as we thought it would," Whitman said. "They were defensive and came back with, 'We just want to do something nice and you don't appreciate it.'"

But finally, the boys' grandparents came around to the perspective of their daughter and son-in-law.

"We all went to Legoland for Jax's birthday in August, and we recommended that each of the boys chose their own set of Lego bricks at the gift store," Whitman said.

"The kids chose what they wanted, and my parents picked up the tab," she said. "Everyone was happy."

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